letting off steam

i said....i escape to my dreams because only there am i free from the tyranny of the people who say they ean well for me that care and live and dwell for me the lies they spew to continue to intertwine our lives they only seek my demise and i've just become wise enough to catch their bluffs....my dreams is where the universe agrees with all that is me and we the verse and i create emaculate episodic poetry out of the tears i cry...and its appreciated as long as my eyes lay close and my soul far away from this reality of morals long gone values in disorrays, i say skip all the faking and straight to the astro plane so i escape to, so i can escape to....."where the wild things are" bending time like little white rabbits and coked up englishmen i live within a fairy tale as long as my eyes are closed and in full mode of the r.e.m. node. my humble abode is nothing more than a cage and my job's just the extended schackles in which i've never been able to fully escape.....so im never late but too early never to harsh never to surley, me, im tailor made for the eye view of all the on lookers..."there he goes" "thats that one guy, does he do poetry? maybe, i thought he stepped? nah nah thats that one clothing designer cat? howd he lose track of that?" im nothing more than memories and topics for people to scrutinize and divide among themselves "who is he with now?" "aint he with that one broad?" "i thought that one chic had his baby?" "he'd be crazy to lay with that lady?" im tired of the constant chatter, banter, and convo's between those who know me the least but feign claim to our meet and greets like they are actually something i would take time to invest in....they ruin my mood in ways unheard of and im sick of it...........im out

american terrorist

this my premier piece that i turned into a group piece

thought of the day 07/24/2009

"when the going gets tough"

the tough get going right? at least that's what we'd all like to think, correct? to think that we have the forsight of being able to see the impending trouble and avoid it or instantly know how to handle the situation or to some aspect control the variables, right? we'd like to, no we'd love to have that type of solace in believing that its that easy; but the fact of the matter is, its not that simple not so plain.
i can say from personal experience that 9 times out of 10, the issues that call for the saying "when the going gets tough" very seldom allow for "the tough to get going" because as much as the majority of us would like to believe that we are superman to some degree, life's issues more often than not bring us down to our knees, life crisis = kryptonite so to speak. And for those few there might not be a league of justice in which to count on to come to your aid.
so what do you do? what do you do when nobodies hiring, your funds are decreasing, your family's in a disoray and/or your personal life is spiraling in and out of control? how do you cope, because to simply get going is not enough, there must be a direction and an objective. as i say, you have to "make moves".
so how do we accomplish this? simple, first, out of everything in your life thats not going as expected...figure out which issues can be changed/fixed by you, after you've done that the rest is cheesecake. :) 1st: if youre unlucky in the job search, continue to keep looking and make the extra effort to go and meet managers, also if you have a skill like fixing computers start helping your friends out for cash here and there. 2nd: low on cash, cut your entertainment expenses at least by half...refrain from going out to eat or to the movies or shopping for awhile and only purchase what you need right now. 3rd: your family is more than likely something you will not be able to change, all you can do is offer your input should they ask and hope for the best. 4th: with your personal life...decide what it is you actually want out your realtionships and go for it and if your significant other is not up for the program then politely (or the best way you know how) tell them to exit your life so you can continue on to somebody or something much better.
and there you have it....i firmly believe that if you stick to these four steps in that order, that you will indeed come out on top and better than off than before, giving true testimony to the saying "when the going gets tough, the tough get going"
-b1 (brandon h.)

the diet butcher shoes

http://www.highsnobiety.com/news/2008/09/28/diet-butcher-slim-skin-hi-top-sneakers/

selfish by b1

love doesn like me because im selfish....says it wont stay with me if i'm only fulfilling my needs and not hers...says that i should uphold the shivery and continue in doing things that enlighten she even if it makes me darker says i shouldn harp on the past and the mass list of fits caused by the damages of the fairies turned witches, i should stop letting my mind think for itself and only aloow my heart to guide me safely to serenity regardless of the failed attempts prior to us haviing this conversation, said that i should just wait for my eventual elation while consistently work to give it those who are not readily able to recipricate the notion.......basically i sould just become a fool to love and let it carry me where ever it see fit till i fit into someone else's life....and im supposed to be alright with that? and like many times preceding i ask outwardly to her instead of to myself "but what of my needs, what if mine are not met and yet again im left hanging in the balace, flapping in the wind at the whim of one of your sirens, the chasm in within my chest didn carve itself, your female descendants have long since been at work at mining my emotions, harvesting them briefly only to do away with them as soon as the season should change...so i ask why? why can not i do and administere the same practice as so many have done so to me. would i not be justified in restoring whats left of my heart and the once plentiful emotions back into it, ddoing away with the cold exoskeleton it has now become, would i be so wrong as to go as far as exchanging someone else's love for a totally different person..in example; begin to date some beautiful well rounded female and then at the first instant in which i would think to quit it id sex her best friend, or cousin, her next of kin, co-worker or sister then floss my new token rebound around town....dirty right? but would not my actions be just as just as those who so-called proclaimed the very same statement unto me multiple times....do they not warrant the same hurt and pain that ive become far too accustumed to, dont they deserve sleepless nights and the heavy blanket of loneliness and heartache that ive suffered for year...YEARS!!! can i not dish out the same pain for my own personal and emotional gain, am i not allowed to manipulate and seduce others into my romantic version of a "cat-and-mouse" game?? i ask Why if its not cool for me to do these things, why, for womenis the rule not the same; should it not go across the board? why must i be judged while they go thru livin ignored? hmmm? im selfish because im tired of getting the short end of the stick and i'll be taken for granted no more cuz im thru with it....thru with it all....time for me to smile....."
-b.shatter

dry spell

[Dry spell]

im missing you
not in the way im meant to
controlled by my alternate mental
my sinful spiritual craves for your physical…
I wish to taste your second saliva drippin from the lips of creation and have them give me the correct type of hydration because frankly Sprite hasn’t been able to quench my thirst,
I wish to sit your derriere upon the counter next to my Frigidaire and lick honey off where there use to be hair and grab what you do have till your legs collapse around my face and fall prey to the tricks being flipped from my oral orifice
Miss,
I want to love you till you feel me in your taste buds, so that every time you swallow
You taste….me
See, the last times you left hickies and scratch marks but after tonight’s march I’ll be laden with battle wounds and your hounds tooth lodged in my neck,
You like that kinky ish
I willing to bet on you receiving 4 tantric orgasms before you can fully articulate “oh…my…God” to me coherently with steady breathing
Before seeing me, you should fancy eating because you’ll be famished afterwards
Standards say that you should have three servings of each major food group to prepare you for what you’ll go through after I’ve weathered a dry spell without you
As an added touch, just to show you how much I pay attention we can do that thing you always wanted to do……
Rose petal bath, slices of strawberries floating about candles lit, flickering in and about and Maxwell’s Greatest Hits softly playing in the back…..
Well maybe I thought of that but you’ll enjoy it nonetheless
Baby I plan on giving you the best sex you wished you dreamt of, see you now fast asleep, clinging on your sheets as your subconscious depicts glistening in the full swing of digging deep Deep DEEP-er in you till your raindrops cause flash floods and drown not just your night garments but your covers in the midst of it
All I’m trying to stress to you sweetheart is that I’m missing you something serious and I’m waiting patiently to vacate with thee in thy bedroom, where I now lay holding this pillow comparing its softness to yours
Baby this king size mattress serves no justice when its springs are not being tested by our simultaneous thrusts of lust
Its like my dressers are mocking me by vividly pitting the imagery of you being lifted by me, taking in the bodily heat emitting every time I breath out one of your exhales, your nails scratching both the mirror and my back
Hmmm, how I miss laying you flat and massaging every little piece of you with my hands and lips and then kiss the tips of ya imagination as I spoke sweet nothings trilingually “Te’ amo sweet Cheri’” and then sleep holding one another like it was our last time together and that was our forever….
So hurry up and come on in and enter this room so we can make a couple more memories to add to our eternities
-b.shatter (aka B1)

soooo.....this is my first mobile blog......jus trying to se if it works
[b.squared]

early morning thinking (07/16/09 3:58am)

GIRLS/WOMEN/VIXENS/SIRENS/QUEENS/PRINCESS'/GODDESS' ETC.... what ever youmay choose to call our better half (so to speak).......are EVERYWHERE, everywhere i am....they follow me or something to that effect. evenn if i was in the back, i dont mean to be cocky, but theyre attention turns directly to me...and im flattered really i am but im so use to thembringing more rain than sunshine i often wonder if obliging the stares and the light giggles of "who is he" giddyness that i, more often then not just smaile and look away. i kno its wrong to categorize or generalize but dig where im coming from, anybody can relate. its just a thought reoccuring as it may

but

all in all there is, just five feet in front of me, this beautiful caramel skin goddess rocking a periwinkle slim fit a.e. polo, blue skinnies, and some matching chucks with the white laces...who keeps eyeing me through the group of future jarheads standing between us, a look so enticing that i think ill disregard all of the fortold statements and speak to her b4 this day is over figadeal me??? :)

wish me luck :P

thought of the day (frm 07/15/09) by B1

in reference to your friends...well not just them, lets throw the fam in there too...if theyre not giving you positive direction for the things concerning you life and well-being, be it personal or professional, should it matter what theyre saying? grant it if what youre doing goes against all moral grain and all that jazz, but what if you yourself are indeed making a positive continuous effort to move forward and there is still a considerably amound of ill will being drawn your direction because ofhow your fam friends loved ones etc... feel about the situation? are they not being selfish and really boils down to it...do their opinions actually matter????

quite the connundrum.....let me know what you think.....